MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT ME

Look, we're all human. It is in our nature to cast judgement upon others. BUT! A lot of them can be a little off or just plain wrong. There is no real problem with this, at all. But I thought it would be fun to be honest and open and clear up three of the most common misconceptions that I hear about me.

That I'm really confident

It's true...

This one I come across loooooads. I guess because I'm ok with my body, not really bothered about how I look on social media and am bubbly when I get to know new people, it's thought that I must be really confident. The thing is, I've learnt that my anxiety is about people I know, rather than people I don't know. So yes, I can confidently get on the tube or talk to a person at the bar or wear something other fat girls might be terrified of but actually believing in myself and thinking that I'm a good person and deserve love from the people I care about? NO WAY MAN. I am very insecure and unconfident, especially about my intelligence, my ability to be a good person and the way I care about people. I guess this all linked to my mental health. But I guess it's a good example of just because it looks good on the outside, doesn't mean it's all good on the inside. Like an avocado. I'm a rotting avocado. LOL.

That I'm happy that I've lost weight

Here's me at my biggest

Yeah, I've lost weight recently and before you say 'tHaT's GoOd?!?!?!', think about it... is it good? For certain health complications I'm having at the moment - yes it is good. But why have I lost it? I haven't been trying because I fully think diets are the work of the devil so it must have been something else. Well it's called a break up LOL! Because I'm not in a relationship anymore, unhappy and alone this has been the result. You don't have anyone to snack with, you're sad so don't feeling like it or forget to eat and if you're me... you can't cook so eat very basic things. Also as I work on my feet pretty much all the time, I'm getting a bit more exercise than I did when I spent four years sitting at a library desk churning out uni work. So these two thing combined have meant I've managed to shift quite a lot of weight, which is surprising to say the least. So I'm not necessarily 'happy' I've lost weight... more like 'meh ok.'

That because I have two degrees I must be SMART

This was TWO years ago, can you believe!?

Now here's a maaaaajor insecurity of mine... my intelligence. My whole life I've been called 'blonde', 'ditsy', 'thick' and it's was one of the main and reoccurring arguments I used to have with my ex. He was a very clever person and I felt inferior to him, which made a lot of tension when he was trying to get his point across about something because usually I felt he was trying to insinuate that I was dumb. Most of the time I was totally wrong and like any person with reasoning skills he was just trying to put his point across but me being VERY insecure about my brain power just used to blow up and kick tf off. Which wasn't very fair but oh well. I think it all comes from a very young age when I was brought out of class for extra literacy and numeracy help. Especially when I used to have spelling tests or over seen reading all the time so that they could keep an eye on me. I value this completely because those painful tests and all of the set 4 classes and extra tuition have got me to two degrees, a BSc and a MRes. My Masters graduation is coming up and I know that when I finally graduate and know that my education journey has come to an end, it'll feel very strange but very satisfying. So although I'm not traditionally 'gifted' or 'smart', I have worked incredibly hard to get to where I am today. Sometimes my mind gets a bit fuzzy and I have to get my best friend to read the menu for me at restaurants (although she secretly loves it) and I stutter when I have to say long numbers, I have a two degrees. Wow.

So! Those are my truths behind some of the most common misconceptions about me! All I've got to say is, don't judge a book by it's cover. Sometimes what goes on within someone's mind isn't always as clear as it may seem - remember the avocado. And also, a lesson for me and anyone else that feels like there's some misconceptions about them... it's good to be open! If we don't clear things up, we're always going to be seen in a certain way. Putting on a front is so Evie it hurts, but letting you guys in is like taking in a bit breath of fresh air for me. And I do love fresh air lol.

If you have any questions about this this post or anything else then hit me up on the socials: @evie_brooks on both Twitter and Instagram. Remember, be open with others and they will be open with you x